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diagondaley:

buttgenie:

i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens

#especially those sarcastic witty teachers who have amazing comebacks but everyone is fucking moronic and not intelligent enough to understand the beauty of what theyre saying and i get so upset

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• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
• Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
• Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
• Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
• Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
• (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)